In today’s digital age, online dating and social media have become common ways for people to connect. Unfortunately, this rise in virtual relationships has also given scammers new ways to exploit both men and women. These scams are some of the worst crimes because they often lead to financial ruin and even suicide. In 2023, losses from these scams reached £36.5 million*, a 17% increase compared to the previous year. But this figure is likely way higher, as many victims suffer shame and never report losses. Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram are prime hunting grounds, where most messages originate. We’ve helped many clients at The Debt Advisor who have fallen for this trap.
What Are Romance Scams?
Romance scams involve fraudsters creating fake personas to establish emotional connections with their victims, often via online dating sites, social media platforms, or chat rooms. These scammers typically spend weeks or months building trust before manipulating their victims into sending money or personal information. In many cases, victims believe they are in genuine relationships with someone who cares about them, only to realise too late that they’ve been deceived. The romance scams can be very elaborate and can sometimes take months to build. The scammers aim to:-
- Financial gain: Scammers get cash or crypto transferred in a ‘hit-and-run’ fashion, often by creating false emergencies or emotional appeals.
- Investments: Scammers may persuade victims to invest in fake business ventures, cryptocurrencies, or other fraudulent schemes, promising high returns. This allows them to extract even more money from the victim under the guise of an opportunity that seems too good to be true.
- Identity theft: Scammers may seek to gather personal information, such as banking details, passwords, or identification documents, to commit further fraud or sell on the dark web.
- Continued manipulation: Once a victim sends money, the scammer often continues to ask for more, manipulating them emotionally to extend the scam.
- Emotional control: Scammers aim to build trust and emotional dependence, making the victim less likely to question their motives or detect possible fraud.
- Blackmail (Sextortion): Scammers may encourage victims into sending or swapping intimate photos or videos and later threaten to share these with friends, family, or online unless the victim pays. This tactic, known as sextortion, exploits the victim’s fear and shame.
- Access to additional assets: Beyond money, scammers may try to gain access to other assets, such as valuable possessions, investments, or property.
- Isolation of the victim: By controlling communication and playing on the victim’s emotions, scammers may seek to isolate the individual from friends or family who might recognise the scam.
Why Are Vulnerable Individuals Targeted?
Scammers often focus on individuals who are isolated, grieving, or going through difficult life events such as divorce, illness, or financial hardship. These people may be more susceptible to emotional manipulation because they are seeking a connection or a stable relationship. Scammers are skilled at identifying signs of vulnerability and exploiting these feelings to gain trust.
Women, particularly those over the age of 50, have historically been common targets. However, men are increasingly becoming victims of romance scams as well. Regardless of gender, vulnerable individuals often share some common characteristics: they may feel lonely, emotionally fragile, or financially stressed, making them more likely to fall for a scammer’s emotional tactics.
How Romance Scammers Operate
Romance scammers craft elaborate stories to gain sympathy and trust. They typically pose as attractive, successful individuals, claiming to be in professions like the military, medicine, or international business that justify their inability to meet in person. After establishing a close relationship, scammers create a crisis that requires financial help. Common scenarios include medical emergencies, arrests, sudden travel problems, or business setbacks.
Once the victim agrees to send money, the scammer may continue to ask for more, either for new “emergencies” or to cover costs associated with finally meeting in person. The cycle of emotional manipulation and financial requests often continues until the victim realizes they’ve been deceived or runs out of money.
Impact on Victims
The impact of romance scams goes beyond financial loss. Many victims suffer significant emotional distress, including feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation. They may blame themselves for falling for the scam or feel too embarrassed to report it. In extreme cases, victims can lose their life savings, fall into debt, or even become depressed due to the emotional trauma of being manipulated by someone they thought they could trust.
Victims who send money may be reluctant to report the crime out of fear that they will not be believed or that their financial situation will worsen. However, it’s important to remember that these scams are designed to exploit anyone, and being a victim is nothing to be ashamed of.
Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm syndrome can play a role in romance scams, particularly when the victim develops an emotional attachment to the scammer despite the exploitation. Victims may develop a psychological bond with the scammer, feeling sympathy or affection for them, even after discovering the deception. This emotional attachment makes it harder for victims to break free from the scam or report the scammer, as they may believe they are still in a genuine relationship or that they can help the scammer to “never do it again”.
How to Protect Yourself or Loved Ones
If you or someone you know is seeking companionship online, there are several steps that can be taken to avoid falling victim to a romance scam:
- Be sceptical of online relationships: If someone you’ve never met in person expresses love or devotion too quickly, it could be a red flag. Genuine relationships take time to develop.
- Be wary of requests for money: A request for money, especially early in a relationship or for vague reasons, is a major warning sign. Never send money to someone you’ve only interacted with online.
- Verify their identity: If possible, try to verify the person’s identity through video chats, social media profiles, or mutual acquaintances. Scammers will often avoid live video calls or making plans to meet in person.
- Guard personal information: Be cautious about sharing personal details like your home address, banking information, or even sensitive emotional details with someone you haven’t met in person. Scammers are cunning, teasing sensitive information out, slowly over time.
- Report suspicious behaviour: If you suspect you or someone you know is being scammed, report it to the relevant authorities, such as your bank, the dating platform, or even the Police. Many agencies, like Action Fraud, have resources dedicated to helping romance scam victims.
The Importance of Raising Awareness
Raising awareness about romance scams is essential, especially for individuals who may be more vulnerable to emotional manipulation. Family members and friends can help by educating loved ones about the risks of online relationships and encouraging them to be cautious when forming new connections online.
Support groups and organizations that focus on consumer protection or mental health can also play a critical role in helping victims recover emotionally and financially. By spreading awareness, offering support, and emphasising the importance of reporting scams, we can help protect vulnerable individuals from falling prey to romance fraudsters.
Conclusion
Romance scams are a cruel and growing form of fraud that need to be taken seriously. They prey on the emotional and financial vulnerability of individuals seeking companionship. Anyone can fall victim, but those who are isolated or emotionally fragile are particularly at risk. By staying informed, remaining cautious, and recognizing the red flags of online scams, individuals can protect themselves and their loved ones from scammers.
If you or someone you know has been affected by a romance scam, it’s important to report it and seek support, both emotionally and financially. No one should feel ashamed for being the target of such deceitful tactics, and with greater awareness, more people can avoid becoming victims of these heartless scams.
(* source: Santander)
